flawless

We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls
“You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man”
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes

– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

wednesday words

It’s not often I get emotionally intimate on my blog, but earlier this week I came across a beautiful quote that I texted to my younger brother who has been going through a hard time.

He’s had a tough year; struggled with heartbreak from a girl he thought he was going to marry, emotional turbulence in trying to reestablish a relationship with our father, loneliness with living 5,000 kms from his Mum & sister (and any other family), an ongoing battle with substance addiction and recently a mugging & stabbing that left him close to death.

While my Mum and I try and support him as much as we can from our various parts of the country (I’m in Sydney and Mum’s in Emerald, QLD) there isn’t a huge amount we can do, other than emotionally support him, without him taking ownership of his actions and action for himself. 

It’s not that I’m looking for sympathy, but it is emotionally straining and heartbreaking to see someone you love not live their best life
or up to their full potential.

This quote is something that really embodies the message I want to give to my brother. Someone who has a beautiful soul that is scarred by experience, but who needs to understand that although we are the sum of our experiences we don’t have to let those experiences define our path.

be soft