34 things I know now I’m 34

Today I turn 34! It’s not a big deal milestone but it still gets me thinking about my year gone past and what I want to achieve during the year ahead, and for reasons unknown it also causes me a little anxiety.

Instead of writing an reflective account of my highs and lows of my year as a 33 year old, I’d rather take an irreverent approach by expelling some anxiety and imparting some wisdom!

here goes…

  1. there are no problems, only challenges. 
  2. see & admit your flaws (then work on them). mine? I’m impatient, have ridiculously high expectations, am often unforgiving,  say ‘yes’ too quickly and sometimes back out after I’ve had time to think, Id rather express my emotions than talk about it, the expression “foot in your mouth” refers specifically to me. 
  3. always mean what you say. don’t f*ck around with mind games because you end up either hurting yourself or someone else.
  4. life is too short to wear or own bad underwear. the moment it starts sagging, losing it’s elastic or has wholes in it, it’s life is over. repeat after me. over.
  5. no matter how loyal you are to a company (unless it’s yours), their bottom line will always come first. remember at the end of the day it’s business.
  6. if you think a bug/spider/unholy-creature is crawling on you, then it probably is.
  7. always take advantage of an open bar. losing your shoes/shirt/purse/dignity is an optional extra.
  8. dancing & giggling uncontrollably make you feel 1000% better no matter what the situation.
  9. quantum entanglement is what binds humanity. not god.
  10. dead ants have a particular smell and there are alot of things that often smell like them.
  11. if someone cares about you, they’ll make time for you, but if they don’t they wont. however no-one can make time for you all the time.
  12. no matter how busy you get, time with your girlfriends is a must for your sanity & your soul
  13. always try and find something good about someone, no matter how much you may clash in personality.
  14. you’re going to fall/trip over in public. it’s going to happen, so when it does, just pick yourself up as elegantly as possible (I know it can be hard when you’re skirt is over your shoulders and the entire contents of your bag is strewn around you) and just move on.
  15. a smile goes a long way in diffusing a volatile/awkward situation.
  16. forgiveness is a gift you give yourself
  17. friendships come and go; they ebb and flow. if someone’s not in your life, it’s for a reason.
  18. never trust a newly divorced man at a party
  19. my Mum always said ‘you get more with sugar than you do with vinegar’. it’s so true; asking for a favour is all in the delivery.
  20. at one point you’ll realise that someone in your life that you love is toxic. it’ll hurt but you’ll have to let them go.
  21. having 500 friends on Facebook doesn’t mean you have 500 real friends.
  22. don’t go too long without having sex. ever.
  23. it’s imperative to know how to change a tyre, hang pictures, change the gas cylinder in your kitchen blow torch & deliver an attacker-stopping punch.
  24. gossip is all fun & games until you’re the gossip. then it sucks.
  25. always open a door or give up your seat to the elderly. having manners is cool. being disrespectful is not.
  26. people who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  27. pick a simple, beautiful dish and learn how to cook the sh!t out it – that way you’ll always have something amazing to bring to a pot-luck or impress a date/partner, their parents & your friends!
  28. karma is not real. as much as I’d like to believe it, people don’t get their just desserts.
  29. someone somewhere once said ‘a person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person’. this is indeed very true.
  30. owning a pet gives you untold joy & hours of fun antics
  31. you should always dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
  32. working out 5+ days a week is non-negotiable. embrace it, don’t hate it, learn to love it. it’s with you forever (unless you don’t mind dying from a coronary when you’re 55)!
  33. never let a day pass without kissing your partner passionately and telling them you love them
  34. the sun will still rise, the stars will still shine, the tides will still roll and the world will not end, if I don’t clean the house. (for those that know me this is a huge admission and a realisation that I struggle with daily!!!)

So there it is! My finite babble wisdom in all its glory! Ha ha!

Now I get to start my birthday with a Body Combat class and end it with dinner at Felix restaurant at The Ivy!