Michelle‘s kickoff message for Week 4 of the program, was about self sabotage; whether we perform acts of self sabotage on our fitness and health journey, or whether we just haven’t honed the skills to enable us to reach our goals.
I think at times I may contribute to sabotaging myself; feeling like I may fail so why should I start or procrastinating because I feel like I know everything and can ‘make it up’ later. But on the whole I don’t think I am a self saboteur. I fall into the group of people who just hasn’t learnt to effectively and consistently apply the health, fitness & weightloss skills I am learning.
I often lack discipline in my diet and, if Im honest, I often like food more than the dedication to my goal of being thin. I let instant gratification outweigh future success. I haven’t yet learnt that effective way of socialising without food and alcohol.
As Michelle puts it, these mindset tasks are helping to change our unhealthy habits, both physically and mentally. They are changes for life, not just for 12 weeks… I understand that a transformation takes longer than a couple of weeks to change actions & thinking that have been around for years, but at the same time, I’m so impatient to be there already. I often find myself thinking ‘why aren’t I there yet?’ I know what I should and shouldn’t be doing but patience isn’t one of my intrinsic virtues.
I’m realising that in these moments of pure frustration/exasperation, I need to bring out my internal armour of self worth.
Michelle likens it to a bank; you top up your self worth with positive actions (having a good training session, a day of clean eating, or doing something positive like watching a good movie, listening to my fave music or repeating a personal mantra) and by the same token, you can also deplete your bank of self worth (negative talk, hanging out with people who don’t support you or want to sabotage you, over-analyzing your mistakes etc).
So to help encourage myself, I’m going to refer more to my inspiration board and repeat this personal mantra…
Tonight at the gym I started my workout thinking ‘I just want to be finished already’. My head wasn’t in it; I was already thinking about picking Harley up, seeing Jay and preparing dinner. My unfinished work to-do list was playing over in my mind. Then I thought up this mantra; “I can do this. I am strong enough. I am dedicated and determined. Quitting is not an option.” And then I felt all of those things. My mind cleared and I became focused. I completed a great workout (just over 600 cals burnt) in 55 minutes and now I feel proud of myself.
So here’s to turning the tide on any negativity. I’m going to own this shit!