grapes of wrath

I am constantly falling over or tripping up in public.

It’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating. And I’m always that mortified that I just want the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

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Yesterday on my way home from work, I stopped into Coles to grab some stuff for dinner. On my way through the crowded fresh fruit section, I slipped on something, tried to right myself by grabbing onto the nearest thing which was an almost-empty trolley that just rammed into me as I spectacularly plunged into the floor; one leg behind me at awkward angle while the other was stopped with full force by my knee. My bag went skidding under the avocados. My dignity went with it.

An employee rushed over, grabbing one hand to help me up and the lady who’s trolley I had just accosted, grabbed the other. Everyone else just looked on in awkward silence. I looked down at the floor to see what caused the slippage and immediately found the culprit; two fat green grapes that were now oozing on my leg and squished into the back of my cream-coloured dress.

Even though my knee was screaming in agony and I could feel my back starting to hurt, I dismissed their “are you OK”s and fled (well, hurriedly exited while still trying to look calm and collected) the grocery store and went straight to the car without a single purchase. Once in the car I burst into tears.

My knee is a little swollen and missing the top layer of skin and my back is threatening to flare up in anger, but mostly my ego is bruised.

I don’t understand why I’m the only person I ever see falling over in public. Surely there are other people who are as clumsy unfortunate as me?

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5 thoughts on “grapes of wrath

  1. My dear, if I had to list the number of humiliating occasions of clumsiness in my life, we would be here until Christmas. Jessie thought that I might have an inner ear problem to account for my difficulty with the concept of balance. Assume dignity, even if it is only a pretence.

  2. Oh love. What a horrid story. I’ve done two massive stacks that stand out. The first one was outside Morisset Newsagency when I was a teenager. I tripped in one of those blue things they use to tie up the papers and ended up on the ground and winded. All these people were leaning over me trying to see if I was ok and I could hardly breathe.

    Second was outside my office when I used to work in the city. It was the end of the day, I tripped on the curb and everything fell out of my bag and started rolling down Bathurst Street. I thought no one saw until one of our General Managers rang me the next day to see if I was ok. Hideous.

  3. I good quote my Father said is ‘no one will remember it tomorrow’ not one person in that store will remember, and if they do it’ll Coles hoping u won’t sue them and the lady complaining about the grapes on the floor & it could’ve been them. Fear not brush urself off, stand up & walk on. They’ll all blame the grapes!

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