My BFF Gracie is always reading books on self-….
basically she can provide a one stop therapy shop!
but I love listening to her discover new things about the way she thinks and when she discovers that she does certain things because of x-y-and-z. Sometimes she discovers things about me and the deep psychological reasons behind my madness!
The five language’s of love is one such thing she discovered and shared with me.
The reasoning goes like this; there are 5 language’s of love, and everyone expresses their love in one of these five ways and equally everyone likes and needs to receive love in one of these five ways.
The 5 love languages are:
- words of affirmation (compliments, encouragement)
- quality time (friend dates, coming home from work early, date night, etc)
- receiving gifts (small or big, but thoughtful)
- acts of service (fixing the “man-stuff”, baking treats, cleaning up, driving you to/from work)
- physical touch (hugs, kisses, holding hands, back rub, touch while talking)
If you can understand where you and your closest loved ones and friends fit into this language, then it should help your relationship/friendships and give you a better insight into why people do what they do and how best to interact. Usually people are a combination of a couple but are strongest in one “love language” but it also depends if it’s a lover, friend or family relationship.
For me, it’s a combination of quality time, acts of service and physical touch with my strongest language being quality time. I enjoy spending intense short time with someone; just hanging out having a coffee or a drink or lying on the grass and talking about things that matter (not just small talk), but I am also big on hugs and linking arms etc. I demonstrate my love through making food for people I care about and keeping a clean house and doing little things that are thoughtful for the person. That’s my love language.
I think about my close girlfriends and I pretty much know where they lie:
Gracie; acts of service, receiving gifts, physical touch
Tam; receiving gifts, acts of service
Lindy; words of affirmation, receiving gifts
Mandy; words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch
Janine; words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service
And then I think about my husband who is receiving gifts, physical touch and acts of service.
I think it’s a wonderful thing to know what drives you emotionally but I also think that we constantly have to consciously make an effort to emotionally give as much as we’re able but to keep something for ourselves so we don’t deplete the emotional bank.
I for one, don’t believe that love is a battlefield.
So, what’s your love language?