My friend Tam has decided that True Blood is no longer for her viewing pleasure. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want me to provide her with a weekly episode play by play.
Get ready for mega synopsis…..
To recap the last 4 episodes;
Bill got kidnapped by Weres, Sookie is going crazy trying to find him, Eric doesn’t want her to find him because (a) he doesn’t want Sookie to get caught up with Weres because in WWII he & Godric hunted V-addicted Nazi Weres that were serving an unknown Vampire, and (b) he wants Sookie for himself but he’s secretly in love with her because he fantasises about her and thinks she’s special.
So Mr Northman sends a Were named Alcide (played by mega hottie Joe Manganiello from One Tree Hill) who owes him a favour to look after Sookie during the day. Sookie uses her telepathy to discover that Alcide’s ex-GF (skanky Debbie) is being inducted into the bad-ass Were pack, run by Cooter (Kiwi Grant Bowler) who are all guard dogs for the King of Mississippi Russell Edgington. Edgington supplies them their V and has done for hundreds of years.
Pam tells Jessica how to “hypothetically” remove a dead body from her basement. She also goes down on that hot pole dancer that is now working at Fangtasia.
The Magister (Zeljko Ivanek from Heroes & Damages) has found out that the V is being sold in Area 5 and is torturing Pam until Eric can provide evidence that it wasn’t him (even though he was selling it at the behest of the Queen who he doesn’t want to rat out).
Bill was abducted by the Weres that work for Edgington but then he renounces his fealty to the Queen to serve the King (Edgington) then he gets cool for a while when he “procures” a stripper and feeds on her in the back of the limo with the King and Lorena.
Lafayette takes Tara to see his mum who is a nuthouse and there is a cute male nurse looking after her. Tara is dealing badly with Eggs death and meets a vamp who understands her anger and craziness, so she sleeps with him then he gets really psycho (he work for the King, is on a snooping assignment to find out about Bill & Sookie) and abducts her and takes her to the King’s house where Bill is trying to loose his humanity to save Sookie (cue the most deranged sex scene ever where Bill f*#ks Lorena and twists her neck all the way round).
Jason is seeing bullet holes in everyone’s head because he’s feeling guilty about killing Eggs, while Det. Andy, who took the wrap, is getting all the credit for killing a “serial killer”, so Jason decides he wants to be a Cop and basically blackmails Andy to let him on the force (Andy is acting Sheriff since the old Sheriff quit on account of all the weirdness & dead bodies that keep showing up in Bon Temps).
Sam gets it on with Bill in his dreams (because he had Bill’s blood end of S02), finds his long lost family who are total rednecks and discovers his brother and mum are shifters. Something is really weird with that family but it’s unclear at this point. This leads us to episode 5…”Trouble”
Franklin (played by awesome James Frain) is completely obsessed and totally psychotic. He’s in love with Tara and wants to make her his “Vampire bride”. He gets jealous when Lafayette texts her but calms down when he realises Lafayette is her cousin.
Tara: “type ‘trust me muthafuc&er’.
Franklin: “Tara, watch how fast I can type ‘muthafuck&er’. I’ll delete it so you can watch me again!” then as he’s typing it vampire-speed he looks as Tara and says freakishly “Love You”.
Jason has his first day on the job at the Bon Temps PD, filing and wasting time, then he meets Crystal Norris (because of the books of course we know how that ends up….) and they get deep really quickly. Hoyt brings a date to Merlotte’s where Jessica is working because he saw her talking to a guy and thinks she’s dating but she was really glamouring a guy from her old Bible study group. Lafayette’s mum’s male nurse comes to see him to ask him out. Eric (pfwoar!!!) ends up at King Edgington’s place, sees Bill, realises that Sookie is no longer Bill’s, get’s hit on by Edgington’s male consort (well, who wouldn’t?), sees an ancient Viking crown in the antique display cupboard and has a flashback from his human life when his father (the Viking King), mother and baby sister were killed by Wolves who took the crown from his dying father’s head to a clocked man in the shadows who said “Don’t be a hero Viking”. Then as his father dies in his arms Eric promises to seek vengeance. Cool quote:
Eric’s dad, the Viking King: “you can’t spend your life between a woman’s legs”
Eric: “I can try”
Franklin tells Edgington that Bill was hiding key info about who Sookie is and what her importance is, so Edgington locks him in his room, he escapes and goes to see Sookie at Alcide’s house. Then Cooter & some other Vamps barge in and Sookie trying to defend herself does the flashing light power from her hand!!! End of episode.
Her fairy powers are coming out!!! woohoo!