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I love Modern Family. I watch laughing so hard tears roll down my face! Every single character is hilarious but I think the best lines come from Gloria.
Here are my top 11 fave Gloria quotes aka Gloriaisms aka
the world according to Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
- Manny: “I wanna be home schooled.”
Gloria: “Really, Manny? Do you want me to learn you English?” - “It tastes bad in my mouth. It’s like a fish and a turkey beat themselves to death with a pepper.” (Gloria is referring to Jay’s favourite diner sandwich)
- “Jay won’t let me help with his business, and now Manny won’t let me help with his homework. It’s so frustrating. I have all the answers!”
- Claire: “None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!”
Gloria: “Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They’re children!” - Jay takes Gloria to a mausoleum to look at burial plots: “Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.”
- Gloria is advising Phil on his fight with Claire: “You didn’t do one thing wrong, you did everything wrong! I wonder how she still talks to you. A woman is never okay with this. We wait, and when you least expect it, we make you pay.”
- “In Colombia, you can’t go to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.”
- “In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married. But I’m not like that.”
- Gloria hates Manny’s poncho: “The poncho by itself is fine. The poncho plus the flute plus the stupid dance? My son will die a virgin.”
- Gloria is talking about the phrase dog-eat-dog world: “That doesn’t make any sense! Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world filled with little poh-pees.”
- Haley hosts a party at Jay & Gloria’s house and complains when Manny is announced as the chaperone. Gloria replies that it’s like killing “two birds with one bullet”
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